By Cora Goss-Grubbs and Pam Green, Co-Chairs We are delighted to report that last month we collected $1,455 to add to the Black Student and Families Fund (BSAFF). This money, along with WUUC volunteers, assists the families of students in the Northshore School District with a variety of needs – from essentials of food and shelter, to monthly bills and car repairs, to community organizing and support for future dreams including college and career development.
Your contributions will fund programs and services with the goal of providing a safe environment for students to explore and express their identity as they navigate the racial constructs of their world.
Our special collection on Nov. 20 will be for TRUUsT (Transgender Religious professional UUs Together), an organization of trans Unitarian Universalists who are living out a call to ministry within Unitarian Universalism. Its mission is to advocate for the gifts, safety, liberation, and leadership of trans religious professionals in Unitarian Universalist ministries and institutions. Nov. 20 is also Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to memorialize those who have been murdered as a result of transphobia. Please consider making a financial contribution to TRUUsT on this important day.
Team Trees Update: One of the organizations we dedicated a
2019-2020 ASJ special collection to recently announced that they raised enough
to plant 22.3 million trees across six continents. That’s a lot of trees!
Curious to hear more about Team Trees and what they’ve been up to? Watch this
short video: https://youtu.be/myPgz2RRdok
As always, the ASJ Committee thanks WUUC members and friends for their generous support of our monthly special collections, which take place during services on the third Sunday of every month. Instructions for giving are posted during the service, and you can also donate anytime the following week at https://onrealm.org/wuuc/-/give/now, or by sending a check to WUUC at P.O. Box 111, Woodinville, WA 98072. Please make checks out to WUUC and write “ASJ Special Collection” in the notes.
As we approach the holiday season, I am once again experiencing feelings of loss. Loss is all around us. There is the loss of our ability to be near family and friends, the loss of jobs, of homes, of traditions.
It is so easy to get caught up in mourning what we have lost in this pandemic. We are also being asked to come up with creative ways to live in this new normal when our creativity is often tapped out. It can be quite overwhelming. And all of these feelings of grief and loss and anger and sadness and overwhelm are real, true, and valid.
But as Rev. Dan pointed out in his sermon on Oct. 25, it is important to think about, “What else is true?”
There are some truths that I have found helpful in those moments. Hopefully, some of them will ring true to you as well and provide glimmers of hope in these difficult times.
·
Perfection is impossible.
· You are enough. Even if all you can manage today is to order food delivery and watch some TV, that’s okay. Do what you can do. You are enough. You are loved. You are not alone.
· Everything is perspective. All advice, even from experts, comes from a specific perspective. Only you truly know yourself and what you really need. This will be different from what other people need for themselves. Comparison of yourself to others is never accurate and rarely useful.
· Don’t get caught up in the fallacy that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” That’s not true. People are given more than they can handle all the time. That is why you have other people in your life. You are part of a community full of people who want to help you. You don’t have to handle anything alone. Reach out if you want/need connection or help. We are here for you.
· The first principle of Unitarian Universalism applies to you, too. You have inherent worth and dignity no matter what you do or don’t do. You do not have to produce anything or perform in a specific way in order to earn your worth.
·
You can do hard things.
· You have a track record of making it through 100% of the hard times in your life. You can do this, too.
Together, we can get through this. Take care of yourself and each other.
Often we hunger for healing but don’t know what it will take to
make our way there. The goal is elusive. The path is unclear.
Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion. bell hooks
But what if the work is to travel
toward our suffering? What if proximity to pain, not distance from it, is the
real route to healing?
When we hold our suffering in a way that opens us to
greater compassion, heartbreak becomes a source of healing, deepening our
empathy for others who suffer and extending our ability to reach out to them. – Parker Palmer
Remember that healing words aren’t always easy or immediately
comforting. Sometimes the words we need to hear the most are the ones that are
hard to hear or grab us by the shoulders and shake us awake.
The truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. Pema Chödrön
Until we widen our view and notice that there are circumstances wounding us both, the painful gap between us will never heal. Rev. Kaaren Anderson
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Wendy Mass
* *
*
Each month, WUUC is exploring a theme suggested by the
UUA program Soul Matters. Materials are
provided for small groups and for worship themes related to each topic. The reflections above are from those
materials, and compiled by Linda Sherry.
Art: The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power. ‘(Oxford Dictionary)
“The foremost reason that artists create, and the rest of us value their art, is because art forms a priceless living bridge between the everyday psychology of our minds and the universal spirit of humanity…….This is the thing: art comes from the heart and, likewise, speaks to the heart; but this asks something of the witness, too, a kind of emotional and spiritual sensitivity with which to receive the generous gift of the artist.” (Larry Culliford, Spiritual Wisdom for Secular Times)
We are blessed to have writers, musicians and artists who encourage one another, who collaborate, and who contribute to Sunday Service every week. Knowing what music you love, what captured your eye while you were hiking, or what stories you have to tell lets us see you. These shared insights enrich our worship services with art’s “emotional power” and ability to help us “bridge to the universal spirit of humanity.” The creative gifts we share are making new connections, inspiring others to express themselves and share their own perspectives, and contributing to our identity as a community. That is a ministry.
For the past months, we have been using the art of WUUC members and friends during the service to enhance our meditation and musical experiences. Now, we are also sharing this art as part of a slide show in the 10 minutes before the service starts each week – the Zoom version of the art that we used to enjoy in the foyer when we were having services in the sanctuary. Thank you to those who have sent in their work. As creative people, we get to show who we are, what we are obsessed with, how we are doing in the moment we are creating, and what matters to us.
Visual Arts Ministry
This re-forming team has a new focus now that our gallery is virtual. The participation of our congregation is unprecedented and inspiring. If you’d like to work on this exciting project with creative people (who are always fun) send a message to Marlene Katz mkatz@wuuc.org
How to Contribute images and video
Best way: Upload files to the graphics folder in Drive, make sure they are named correctly. You can edit names in Drive after uploading.
Original Artwork: any medium, any PG subject but we are especially fond of kid artwork, pet portraits, and kid pet portraits.
Photographing artwork is tricky, try to avoid shadows and glare, and get as close as you can. Make sure the image is big enough; a general guide is Horizontal (landscape) – 1,024 x 512 Vertical (portrait) – 800 x 1,200 Most smartphones do fine.
What happens next:
New files organized
We will use them when it is appropriate for the context. We may contact you asking for permission to use your image in a graphic for church. We don’t know when we’ll use your contribution, but we hope we can use them all.
Credits and Releases:
Your original work only
If you wish to be credited, name your files with your name & the title.
Khyams frog.jpg is a good example.
Make sure you have everyone’s permission to publish photos that they are in. Photo release forms are required for children.
By Jan Radoslovich The October 2020 Soul Matters theme was “Deep Listening.” WUUC’s Lay Pastoral Associates (LPAs) and Rev. Dan would like to take this opportunity to share some of the skills we use for deep listening.Each of us in the congregation can have the opportunity to provide care to each other in times of need. Deep listening has an important role in enabling us to support each other in our beloved community.
Why do
it?
Practicing
and developing deep listening skills can offer the “quality of listening that
is possible among a circle of human beings, who by their attentiveness to one
another create a space in which each person is able to give voice to the truth
of their life.” Rebecca Parker
Deep
Listening Includes:
Being aware of your own ability and
readiness to engage with the speaker.
Being fully present in the “here and
now” with the speaker, tuned in to the experiences, feelings and needs
expressed in this moment.
Being attentive to the speaker’s
speech and body language for deeper meaning, unspoken needs and feelings
conveyed.
Being aware that the speaker’s
experiences and points of view may not be the same as yours, and your role is
to understand and reflect, not judge or agree.
Asking questions to encourage the
speaker to clarify their thinking and feelings in order to more fully understand
their truth.
How to
Practice Deep Listening:
Center
the speaker as the focus of the conversation
You are present for the speaker. Keep the focus on the needs of the speaker as they talk. Avoid statements or comments that redirect the conversation back to you as the listener. Ex. “That reminds me of something similar that happened to me.” Avoid statements or comments that change the subject. Ex. “Speaking of anger, did you see the movie about….”
Emphasize
the “here-and-now”
What does the speaker need “here-and-now?” What is happening for the speaker “here-and-now?” Avoid reassuring cliches, which tend to minimize the significance of the feelings and convey a lack of understanding or support. Ex. “It will all work out.” “Everyone feels that way.” “It’s not as bad as you think.” “The universe has a plan for everything.”
Focus
on feelings
Ask questions about feelings. Use active listening skills such as: reflecting, probing, supporting to convey interest in understanding feelings. Verbalize implied feelings to validate understanding and help the speaker become more aware of their feelings. Ask the speaker to describe in words how they are feeling right now. Ask the speaker to describe how they feel about the situation.
Balance
words with silence
Use silence to slow the pace of the conversation. This gives the speaker time to reflect upon, then speak further about feelings and insights that have arisen from their sharing. As a listener, become comfortable with the uncomfortable void of silence. The speaker is doing their internal work during this void.
Show
empathy and respect
Empathy is doing our best to see and experience the world or situation from the perspective of the speaker. Respect is offering regard for the speaker’s perceptions, opinions, feelings, needs and personhood. This can be done with simple phrases, “I hear what you are saying,” “I understand,” “This is a difficult time for you,” “Thank you for sharing so openly with me.”
In
summary
“To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.” Henri Nouwen
Are you willing to be a deep
listener?
Authored by Jan Radoslovich, lay pastoral associate, with guidance from Soul Matters, What Does it Mean to Be a People of DEEP LISTENING? October 2020.
