by WUUC | Sep 23, 2016 | Minister Blog
It is time for white people to take the killing of Black men personally. To make the dominoes of deaths about us. Because it is about those of us who are white. It is about those of us who are privileged by and benefit from every cultural and societal institution and system. Institutions and systems that protect and ensure the sanctity of white lives and the denigration of Black lives. Just as history is always written by the victors or conquerors, societies and all their institutions are created by the same victors and conquerors. And so it is that those of us who are white, are the architects of racism.
by WUUC | Sep 15, 2016 | Minister Blog
Someone asked me, “What does membership mean in a UU church?” There are all sorts of articles you can find on the web about this very issue. I used to hand out the Jefferson Unitarian Church’s “Rights and Responsibilities of Membership” to folks. Sure, it means contributing financially. It means being able to vote at congregational meanings. It means being able to serve as the chair of a committee – if that is something one longs for.
For me, choosing to join a church, choosing to become a member means that you are throwing your lot in with a particular community; you are committing to a group of people – for better or for worse. For congregations are made up of people and people form relationships and human relationships have their high moments and their lower moments. Those times when we are able to bring and act from the best of who we are. And we have those times when we are not able to access the best of who we are in interactions.
Every relationship, every person, every community, eventually falls from grace. The honeymoon phase of perfection eventually morphs into the realities of who we all are: flawed, vulnerable, imperfect, beautiful beings worthy of love. So membership means hanging in there in spite of and because of the inevitable ups and downs that we will all experience in community. Membership is a commitment to what is known and a trust or faith in what is not yet known.
Come and throw your lot in with the WUUC community. Yep: for better or for worse. You will be welcomed and cared for. You will at some time, be disappointed, you will be challenged, you will grow, you will be enfolded into something larger than yourself.
Peace, Shalom, Salaam,
Rev. Lo
by WUUC | Aug 30, 2016 | Minister Blog
One of the churches I used to serve had a line in its liturgy that said “we miss you when you are not here.” Returning to the rhythm of the church after a month’s vacation, I found myself looking around the church during that first week back as well as on Sunday, feeling grateful for those who were present and feeling the loss of those who were not. “Missing those who are not here.”
We don’t do guilt in Unitarian Universalism. It’s funny how people are quick to tell me why they haven’t been at church when I run into them around town. I tell them that they don’t have to explain why they haven’t been around to me. I let them know that we are there when they are ready. I am not about guilting folks. But I need to start saying, “I and we, the church, miss you when you are not there.” Too often in church life we miss people too late: by the time we wonder aloud that we haven’t seen so and so in a while, so and so has moved on or dropped out. In a sense, we know their presence by their absence from us.
In community it is sometimes easy to take people for granted. Especially the ones who are there almost every week without fail. The steady don’t often get our attention or our thanks. Hallmark hasn’t made a card that acknowledges a person’s constancy in a church community. Staff is paid to show up Sunday after Sunday but the membership isn’t. With all the choices today’s world offers us on Sunday mornings, you all choose WUUC. That fact fills me with gratitude and inspiration.
A few Sundays ago I sat in the back of the sanctuary while Ashley and the youth who went on a pilgrimage to Transylvania this summer spoke about their experiences. Michael played Romanian folk songs on his accordion. Bill and Betsy were off with the kids looking outside around the church for bugs to put into jars to identify during the RE time. Earlier in the week, Bob, Tom, David, John, Gregg, Chuck, H.W. and Nancy had braved near 90 degree heat to stain the areas by the portables, fix a leaking area of the roof, and spruce up the grounds. All week long volunteers like Cora and Pam were dropping in to begin handing things off to Rev. Jamil. Lindsay will continue to work until the end of the month to help transition our Religious Education program over to Rev. Jamil. Lori and Janet and D.D. helped me with the Eastside UU potluck in Cottage Lake Park. Anonymous donors paid to have the rugs in the portables professionally cleaned so that they would be fresh and ready for our children. The Board and Ministry Leads and Karen and Lori have not taken the summer off but have been busy doing the work of the church. Numerous committees and task forces have been meeting or have retreats coming up to plan out the year. I found myself flooded with gratitude for the gifts you bring to this church.
As the community moves into its fall routine, I find myself wanting to say to those steady members, “It is good to see you, I am so glad you are here.” It is a way to extend hospitality and welcome not only to the newer comer but to the regular and the long timer. All of us need that sort of welcome. I will still tell those who I run into who have not been at church recently that we miss them. Because it is true. That person or persons may not know that their absence is noticed or makes a difference. To me, saying that we miss them is not about guilt but about acknowledging them.
It takes all of us to create a community of connection and support. As the school and church year ramp up, know that each of you is missed when you are gone.
Peace, Shalom, Salaam,
Rev. Lo
by WUUC | Jul 29, 2016 | Minister Blog
While looking through my files for a particular piece of information, I stumbled on notes from a workshop I had attended about 15 years ago. Though the workshop was on congregational conflict, the real focus was on “civility.” How to ensure such a culture of civility in congregations. Given the tenor of political debate in this country, I found the notes about creating an atmosphere of civility to be timely.
Civility is “the conscious manner in which we conduct our human relations.” It involves respect, trust, affirmation of plurality of opinion, a view of the larger picture, and individual responsibility. To create a culture of civility, ground rules and boundaries need to be clear. There has to be some sort of common commitment to a way of relating that upholds “the inherent worth and dignity of every person.” There has to be acknowledgement of “the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process.” Engagement in the political process by any candidate running for and serving in office needs to be grounded in something other than self-aggrandizement, ego, greed, and tunnel vision. When buffoonery and self interest trumps intelligence and integrity, the entire democratic process is threatened.
Several years ago, an ecumenical group of colleagues met with the editorial board of the local newspaper. We were disturbed by the rhetoric and tone of the paper. Before we entered the newspaper’s building, a colleague turned to all of us and said that what we have to contribute to political debates is an insistence on civility. That as people of faith, our task was to nurture civility and bring civility to situations of high conflict. Our job was to ensure that conversation between opposing positions could be conducted without either side taking hostages.
I have been thinking a lot about what the role and responsibilities of clergy and congregants is during this election season. Our voices are going to be needed. Our resistance to business as usual is needed. If political gridlock and partisanship are going to be the norm, then other voices will need to be raised and brought to bear. How that happens is as important as the outcome. Attention to civility seems to be key.
I find myself asking, “How should we speak or act in a way that does not further polarize but rather brings persons to the table to find common ground or a common way? How do we participate in this cultural and moral war without it degenerating into a violence of words and actions? How can we insist on and model civility in public discourse? Are we willing to go the distance and stay in conversation and relationship with those on opposite political sides of us?”
As we move further and deeper into the mire that is the upcoming November election, we as Unitarian Universalists will need to ground ourselves in our seven principles. And embrace civility. Civility should not be equated with passivity. We will need to be civil voices of resistance and insistence. Let us practice the discipline of civility in religious community and apply it beyond our walls.
Peace, Shalom, Salaam,
Rev. Lo
by WUUC | Jun 30, 2016 | Minister Blog
Thanks to a member of the congregation, a group of us from the Woodinville Church and a few folks from University Unitarian were able to march in this year’s Pride Parade. This congregant knew someone in the group, Sisters of the Mother House of Washington which are a group of “religious sisters” who work on behalf of those who are most marginalized in the queer community. They are not as large as the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence but they are might and kind and were so welcoming to us.
As we waited (and waited, and waited) in our contingent, the “Christian Haters” appeared on the sidewalk near us with their megaphone, signs that read, “God Hates You,” and began to spew what I classify as hate speech. After a few minutes of this, I got mad and made my way toward them. We were near the Sounders Rugby men and women, one of whom said to me as I passed, “Go get ‘em.” I stood next to a cop and watched them, holding my sign high. I had purposely worn my Standing on the Side of Love clergy collar and was decked out in rainbow earrings. I wanted to be a ministerial counter presence to hate as well as an affirmative presence of Love.
One of the make Sounders rugby men was standing right next to the man with the megaphone. The brave rugby fellow “vogued” his heart out. To me, that took courage: to place yourself right next to someone who wanted you essentially dead. Later I thanked him.
A short while later I saw a lone individual talking about being saved and handing out fliers calling for repentance. He was trying to hand them to one of the Sisters. I had taken a particular liking to this sister as he was small, bearded, in wonderful attire, and was so gentle. He was sort of trapped in place with this “Christian” trying to get him to take the piece of paper. I moved quickly and placed myself between the sister and the man with the papers. He tried to hand me a paper which I refused instead showing him the sign I was carrying: “Thou Shalt Not Kill; Orlando; Standing on the Side of Love.” He said, “I don’t need that.” I said, “Just keep on moving along.” And made hand motions to help him along. Which he eventually did. I just was not having it that day. I was not having my people targeted by the distortion of the Christian personage of Jesus and his radically inclusive love.
Toward the end of the parade, another contingent stood along the side of the parade route with yet another “God Hates You” sign and a megaphone spewing more hateful rhetoric. I went right over and started yelling “Shame, shame, shame!” Which they then yelled back at me. So I just stood there blocking them with my body and sign letting their hate pour over me. One bearded man in sunglasses just held his arm out pointing at me.
Suddenly I was joined by the slight sister who I had shielded earlier. She, too, stood with her sign. Then a member of the congregation stood next to me. I backed away a bit. My interim Director of Lifelong Learning was suddenly right there in front of the guy with the megaphone. Smiling at him, standing there, signaling to him to bring it on, and letting him bombard her with his words. When I could no longer watch her taking it, I touched her on the shoulder to bring her away from the hate. And we went to catch up with our contingent.
I know we should probably just ignore these folks who show up at every parade with their signs, megaphones, and hatred. But as a person of faith and as a clergyperson, I feel an obligation to make it clear that these folks who distort their religious traditions to justify hate and violence don’t speak for God or religion. What I wished I had had the sense to do was ask all of us UU’s in our yellow shirts to form a line in front of the haters to visually “protect” the parade marchers. And to clap to drown out the megaphone. I am thinking that every march needs a contingent of angels that shows up as they have at the funerals where the Westboro Baptist “Church” pickets and espouses similar rhetoric. These angels and their wings provide a visual separation for those who are trying to make their way through loss and grief.
So what if we UU’s showed up at Pride Parades and events not in our yellow SOSL shirts but in huge yellow angel wings that have written on them, “Standing on the Side of Love?” I feel a creative urge coming on. Anyone else game?
Peace, Shalom, Salaam,
Rev. Lo
by WUUC | Jun 29, 2016 | Minister Blog
It was a text from a colleague that sent me to the video recording of the sermon given by the Rev. Bill Sinkford at the Service of the Living Tradition at the General Assembly on June 23. (http://www.uua.org/ga/off-site/2016/worship/slt) Bill preached a sermon that we UU’s have needed to hear for decades. He said that Unitarian Universalism failed people of color in the 1960’s and 1970’s. The good news is that today we have been given another chance to get it right. It is the work of this faith to grapple honestly with white privilege and racism if it is to become the Beloved Community that we say we yearn for.
When Sinkford was elected, there were many who hoped that he, as an African American, would give UUism the answers to solving issues of racism both within our tradition and the larger culture. But as he said in his SOLT sermon, if he had the answer, don’t you think he would have waved his magic wand years ago? Ending racism isn’t the work of people of color. It is the work of those of us who are white skinned. Who because of no other reason other than the color of our skin, automatically have privilege and access in our culture that people of color do not. Until we examine white entitlement for what it is, we will be stuck, doomed to fall short of Beloved Community.
If these words seem harsh, try to see them as an invitation. Develop a curiosity about what they might mean. Ask questions. Not of people of color but of white skinned persons who are committed to examining what it means to be white and how that plays into perpetuating institutional and structural racism. This is not easy work. In fact it is at times, excruciating. But it is work that we in this faith tradition must embrace and engage in to usher in the Beloved Community.
Here are some resources to help start the learning and the conversations:
Between the World and Me -Ta-Nehisi Coates
Waking Up White: And Finding Myself in the Story of Race -Debbie Irving
Peace, Shalom, Salaam,
Rev. Lo
